I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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