I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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