He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
