You're so nebulous sometimes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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