Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
