I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
