we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
