Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
