i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
