Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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