thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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