If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
