yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
