This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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