you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
