Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
