When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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