He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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