I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I faked an abortion last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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