you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
