The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
