Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
