I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
