TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
