I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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