I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize