You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
