the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
