U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My balls are so social today.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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