i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
