Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My cat gives me a boner
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
