My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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