HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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