just come out here and I will go home with you...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
