She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize
