I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
