Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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