so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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