I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I accidentally burped into my bong.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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