after a month anything with tits is on the radar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
