Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
