the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
