Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
