Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize