No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
