How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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