But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
