I am puke
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
