Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
