Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize