we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize