if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
