OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
