He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
