The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
