lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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