i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
