I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
