I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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