yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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