I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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