Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
