After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
