we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize