my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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