if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
