On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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