so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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