I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
