and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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