Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
