I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
