Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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