I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize