Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
