3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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