Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Someone signed my nipple.
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