You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize