I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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