Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize